;LOVES♥

2010-01-30T23:38:00.002+08:00

TO HELL WITH BLOGGER :)

IM ON LIVEJOURNAL!

zennyxd.livejournal.com

a lousy name i know, -.- but cant change alr ):

suckkkkyyyy. and im lazy to recreate.

bear with it :)

2010-01-26T20:38:00.001+08:00

okay i seriously think i'm pissed.

fuccccccccccccccccccccckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk ,

10 times more will probably make me feel better.

i'm getting moodswings idk why.

there's just so many things going on in my mind.

i just wish i ain't in the hospital i just wish everything will be fine.

ah shit i'm so tired.

whatever,

so what if i've got a fked up attitude.

so do you.

2010-01-23T22:16:00.003+08:00

there's something wrong with my shoulder ah ): there's something wrong with my mood. i'm having moodswings o_o

chenliyi chenliyi, jiayou hao ma ): chenchuen chenchuen, jiayou hao ma ): don't give it all up now. my heart really hurts when i read liyi's blog everytime, i smile whenever i see her being so hyper and stuff, but when her posts go really emo, sometimes i just don't know what i can do to make her feel better.

jiayou chenliyi, like what jiaen told you, 不要放弃 . :)

there's just some things you don't know, yet. but there's others who are hanging onto the cliff just like you, but yet they won't ever give up till they fall off. no matter how tired they are, they'll hang on. you must too. :)

remember why you joined nynb, it's the journey you'll never forget. b div 10, this is your last chance with b div 10 jiayou.

i will bring my camera everyday and snap pictures of all our memories. like what i say, it's all going to be enough to last. you'll cry when you see these pictures next time, but you'll smile, for now.

all the smiles, so true. everything will seem all worth it.

we'll have a team outing soon :) for the match on monday, jiayou school team. 你们一定行! :) your journey won't end here it won't it won't. it's a promise, to yourself, to the team. :) jiayou!

ahnow i suddenly realised that everything seems so fake, like everything. not netball. but just everything else. i just want everything to end here, and pull off your smiling face when you're probably cursing me deep down in your heart.

i don't know how am i going to bring myself to hate you, but i will. bcos you've hurt me for more than you'll ever imagine.

i wanna laugh wanna laugh.

2010-01-22T20:59:00.005+08:00

well well. training yesterday was pretty slack. well, we did PT and we did everything i told jingwen we were going to do. well, other than the 2.4 run since it was like raining heavily. so we ran inside the school.

the team was best :) 5 people training and peizhen came late. our team ran with 4 people. best best :) haha shihui liyi chuan hoon all ask 你们只有几个人而已阿? we looked freaking idiotic. 4 people doing PT. -.-

haha runs oh runs, 15 minutes around school yesterday i was kinda panting at 5 minutes but i was glad i finished the run. yunting still had the 'i'm not tired' look on her face ): her stamina is like damn zai ): i want! haha, i think our pace was like not very fast i guess. but we ran finish 15 minutes :) and 1 second! LOL!

today we stayed back wee :D finally i stayed back with them, i didnt stay back with them for a lot of times alr ): damn sad. haha but we played ABC and badminton.

penguin and tricia is damn zai at badminton, uhhum avril :) LOL. haha me yunting xiuyi quite screwed also lah, it's kind of a training abs session we kept laughing at laughing. yunting's three pointer is damn zai. don't need aim one leh ): she so skinny got so much strength. first try go in alr -.- xiuyi we epic phail ~

we had our first THREE-OH-SIX class breakfast. was okay i guess. haha just that i was a super lousy assistant monitress (sorry!) and kept running around with liyi and avril to find shihui joy michelle and ziwei.

avril avril de ziwei. LOL :) and we took team pictures :) well, not entire team though ): the team pictures are damn nice damn nice :) but the first picture was awkward okay. my hand was at a awkward spot of liyi's body x_x

ah i really miss those days we stayed back as a team. we had fun today bitching about a certain somebody :) right right! stickytape sucks lah hahah :) i don't know why some people thinks she's so nice. we beg to differ. :)

open your eyes big big and look how she really is. you won't be able to stand her very soon. -.- and please, stop trying to ruin relationships and to be a stickytape, sticking to _______ .

it's all enough okay. stop calling us names too, because don't forget, you were the one who started it.

i shan't flood my mind with this stupid bitch, but i'll think of the happy memories our TEAM had. :) because we're a TEAM.

that's a very simple reason why i love my team. yet this reason is just long enough to make all of us last.

we're going to have a long long way to go. avril liyi chengzhu. don't give up just yet, because there's still a long way to go. b div 10, b div 11. jiayou :) we're going to make it through just fine. just fine. :) we'll always be here no matter how things are going to be.

like how you're going to be there for joey, liyi. joey, i know you won't ever see this but jiayou for basketball :) i know it's really saddening and stuff, we've been through it before.

buck up :) i want to see the cheerful joey again.

my dearest liyi and chuen, jiayou :) i'll be cheering for yall deep down in my hearts even if i'm not there. because you guys are worth the love.

jiayou jiayou jiayou.

2010-01-20T20:31:00.002+08:00

2.4 may just be a run, but to me it's a terrifying run. my stamina wasn't well. now it deproved like shit. ): i gonna do something to get it back, at least not as lousy. ah 2.4 oh 2.4 i guess i'll be the last. but my aim's not to overtake anyone. but just to finish it.

because by finishing it, i know i've done it. i won't want to give it up halfway like how i always used to. i'll hold everything back, and complete the run. jiayou jiayou jiayou. tomorrow's training there's only me tricia yunting xiuyi esther and peizhen. and jingwen put me in charge. wow o.o tomorrow's training going to be screwed ): idk what to do.

i'm scared of 2.4. i wonder when will i stop being afraid ):

2010-01-18T20:18:00.001+08:00

前面的路可能很难走，很暗

但不要怕

不怕的人才会有路走

希望等待着你

加油

2010-01-18T18:44:00.002+08:00

thank you thank you for being there. you've got no idea how much it meant.

school team yall did a good job today, but we all know it's not your best. jiayou :) you guys can definitely do much better than this. prove it. jiayou jiayou. top your grouping and go on. 39-2. probably not satisfactory for ms lin. but still, jiayou. today was pretty -_- boring. i managed to skip math and boring chinese though. i dumped qin on her own facing math. aw sorry (:

ah 2.4 i'm afraid. but what's the use. if my timing deproves i'm going to kill myself. ): thankyou tricia, for always being there, saying we're a team. and no matter what, we go through it together. carnival oh carnival, so far yet so near. ah thankyou recre team.

what's the point of going to school i once wondered. i know the answer now. it's for the people i want to see smiling when i go to school everyday. it's to see my teammates smiles. see qin's retarded look. see avril's retarded face staring at uhhum class from the window. that's all that matters, and that's all that kept me going for the past 2 years, and will keep me going for the next 2 years. :) c'mon, you're only halfway through.

it's my team it's my team it's my team.

2010-01-15T18:48:00.002+08:00

School's fun. I'm kinda pissed today yep. -.- Only qin knows what happened .. so yep :) i didn't tell anyone else. okay i'm not going to get all emo because people are complaining to me because i've been so emo. okay i'm not emo i'm not emo. hm, but geeling totally cheered me up after school :) i seriously cant stop laughing at her retarded-ness, and she keeps laughing at me too. ): i don't know why.

i needed to go home to study, but ended up studying at science centre with geeling because i didn't know how to do math, luckily my parents allowed. ah my parents are getting so niao nowadays i can't stand it ): hm, i didn't post about training yesterday. migraine was horrible wth ): we ran 2.4km and my timing sucks like hell, i shan't say it here you'll laugh your ass off. hm, but it's better than what i expected, yep so jiayou lingting jiayou :) jiayou recre team jiayou :) i think we're going to keep running 2.4km for the rest of the trainings and do loads of PT.

i think i'm the only one who's getting muscle aches ): my whole team didn't get muscleache, at least i think they didn't. ah sai lousy me ): there's loads of homework today i'm damn sleepy :O haha i just went to run 15 minutes yesterday, hm but like half the school team's pace yep ): LOL. haha well at least i'm going to take a baby step at a time :) i hope.

the pictures joey uploaded at facebook was totally nice. one of mine was classical manxz -.- i was rubbing my face with my shirt, that was totally unglam. and you know because of who, my dear avril tan chu en. she just kept taking and taking and thus, the super unglam shots haha :) i was totally dead when jiaen and jingwen came to look for me today. ah i'm having moodswings ): or rather i'm pissed. but yeaaaaa, pissed mood go away :) let's work hard, altogether :)

because one is not enough, i want the whole team

2010-01-13T18:35:00.002+08:00

I love this recru team. It's like damn good and we have loads of fun together. although it's only a short trip to queensway shopping centre to look for netball shoes, we can laugh the entire journey through! and we kept laughing on the bus too :) i mean, it's plain fantastic. of course, the school team people are nice too! it's just that they've got training ): and yep, we won't be able to go out much with them because they need to train really hard for their seasons. jiayou jiayou! :) ni men ke yi de ! like what you guys told us, have confidence :)

we laughed the entire journey on the bus 961 to queensway shopping centre. jingwen's balance sucks okay. mine sucks too -.- like as usual! haha. and we keep swerving and swaying the entire bus journey, we laughed like nobody's business and i bet everyone was cursing us on the bus. okay sorry x__x! we were damn noisy lol ): okay disgrace t0 nanyang. i laughed super a lot today again! :) i mean i've never laughed for so much -.- idk why! haha :)

okay we went macs cos we couldn't find netball shoes. and we bought a team fbt! except for xiuyi geraldine peizhen zhiyi don't have. but if they want we can go buy for them too and we can wear the same fbt as a team. omg that's going to be so zai so zai so zai! :) i think tomorrow's training going to be terrible and horrible, like given my stamina. i hope i won't vomit halfway. ): well at least i'll try to finish up the whole thing. ): i hope i hope i hope. no vomit no vomit no vomit.

the school team's really training very hard, they're running like every morning and avril stinks cos she sits beside me. and i hope it's all going to work well alright. c'mon jiayou jiayou :) i hope all these hard work pays off, because when we're sitting on the court, we can see really clearly, they're running and running, every single day. and i hope that effort brings them far in this journey. real real far. jiayou.

we kept laughing at penguin's brother's name. haha. we were thinking of stuff inauspicious yep, so penguin it's best you not know. :/ she was damn funny lah, wanting to know. her expression is like klara koh pei qin's, so classical. no wonder good friends eh :) penguin penguin! haha :) ah today's a great day :) school team finish training alr. wonder how's liyi ): i hope she ain't emo-ing at some corner again ): jiayou liyi jiayou avril. jiayou school team. ni men ke yi de. jiayou jiayou :) we'll wish you guys all the best and be with yall on this journey. we promise we promise. jiayou jiayou jiayou :)

i hope i survive

2010-01-12T16:08:00.004+08:00

Life in school today was plain boring. my eyes are already very small but it just became even smaller during lessons today. it's sooooo boring my god lah walao -.- i was like i'm going to fall asleep. and today avril and i malu-ed like shit like shit. we had CLC lecture and then we went to LT2, where all the BSP students are. my god, avril and I are so not BSP students. and we had to go down to the teacher and tell her you know. and we had to go to another place. wth lah ): malu die malu die.

and then we went LT1 -.- then we felt like lost sheep and i went mehhh mehhh. avril said: that was so cute! LOL. damn funny lah, two lost sheep sitting in the middle of so many people, we looked kinda weird. and funny :D i'm glad i survived today's lessons. -.- PE was hilarious, avril couldn't play badminton. she couldn't hit the shuttlecock and instead she hit air! HAHAH :D avril malu die also! she looks damn cute. i think i've got 0.1% of abs now ): due to too much laughter today, even though i'm quite dead during lessons. like duh. avril oh avril :)

when i was about to fall asleep, when my eyes couldn't be seen, clarice and shanna will think of all sorts of ways to get me to wake up, for example, throwing eraser dust and paper strips at me -.- and my dear clarice sms me when she's just sitting in front of me. ): my dear, you have unlimited sms but i do not okayyy! haha :) i turned ego today. woo :) and shanna calls me babe. HAHAH.

came back with geeling. and something darn funny happened on the bus -.- jiawei was sitting behind me, and i thought it was a cikopek! hahah. okay and we walked home together, since we living quite near also ah! and it was raining damn heavily wth -.- i was totally drenched when i came home la. LOL. if liyi was there, she'll have flown off, cos she's too light. i'm fatttt so i stay on the ground :O lol. haha jiawei was drenched too! HAHAHAH. okay -.- i'm getting high today yay :)

i hope i'm going to survive lessons tomorrow. the school team's having training now. jiayou jiayou.

jiayou liyi avril ulanda joy chuanling shihui michelle jaime ziwei hoon jiaen jolene, jiayou jiayou you guys will fight your way through and we promise to be there to support you guys.

2010-01-11T19:09:00.002+08:00

Thank you tricia :) I'll make it last. I'll make it last i'll make it last.

It's damn saddening i cant join the team to stay back thanks to uhm -.- yea ): . It's been so long since I stayed back with them and totally laughed and got crazy okay ): Ah i missed that feeling. Gah gah gah gah gah. Geraldine was freaking funny today. her hair was weird and she got totally high today, the side of geraldine that we never saw before. she's always like so serious and stuff.

She totally laughed at tricia when tricia asked what was a separating funnel, thinking about that, geeling laughed the whole journey back home. ah, laughing machine. she was laughing at my nose peeling too! ): stupid sunburnt stupid sunburnt. this team, this team oh this team. they keep me standing strong, and i'll make good my word because you made good your promise.

thank you klara, saving me from ccm. you're great, trust me. your expression is plain classical and i know that i'm very important to you okay. and stop stealing and pangseh-ing nynb's penguin i'll slap you! ): i'm glad i got back my voice today, or else i think i'll just die ): i won't be able to talk.

avril's just super cute in class and i can't stand her ziwei-ness. aw avril aw ): she keeps staring out of the window and look at ziwei class. and we saw zai zai hoon walk at the corridor! she looks damn zai okay damn zai damn zai. avril oh avril, don't care if we're going to fail quiz, the whole class probably will fail and the whole class will attend remedial together.

i'm getting quite okay with the new class, haha closer to some of them already, especially klara koh and clarice -.- we were totally complaining about the whole world during chinese lessons that we started throwing notes all over the place and smsing each other when i'm only like behind them okay! it was damn amusing, at least that made the lesson pass real quickly alright! :) chinese is boring, really boring.

thank you for always being there, being one of the few people i can scream out my troubles and everything else. thank you geeling, i know sometimes you don't know what to tell me either, but when there's nobody else online and i can only speak to you, you never ever did complain. thank you thank you. thank you team. :) i will just need to regain my confidence, like what geeling said, my confidence level is really low ): it dropped. dropped oh dropped.

jingwen's really nice :) well, all the sec 4s are nice and shihui looks like cikopek ): like seriously uh. thenghui thenhui~ shihui i hope you see this :) smile smile smile and blush. haha :) okay i'm damn tired now.

thankyou thankyou :) for always staying here.

because you guys are who i really need.

it's the best thing that ever happened to me. :)

2010-01-10T21:41:00.001+08:00

I promise i'll be back in school with that strong front everybody is used to, the old lingting that will try her best to hide away all her feelings. I don't know why i'm just crumbling this weekend. worse and worse.

I'd prefer that strong fake front.

At least i wouldn't have to consider so much more.

2010-01-10T21:32:00.003+08:00

screw it. fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck .

yes i didn't do well so what. yes i vomited so what.

GAH I CANT STAND IT.

2010-01-10T10:41:00.002+08:00

that experience has been so wonderful, seeing the entire team strive hard when we've never ever seen them do that before. seeing the team trying their best, even if we didn't win, it didnt matter. we saw each other trying hard, that's why we kept going on.

i won't give it up.

i won't i won't i won't.

2010-01-09T22:09:00.003+08:00

i don't know what am i scared of. i just know my emotions are freaking screwed and it's just my own fault that i didn't do well.

i wont give up, it's just how long more i can last. i hope i can last real long real real long till all these ends. prove it.

broken promises are all over the place. will i break another one again.

2010-01-09T21:10:00.003+08:00

Today's carnival.

I played like shit. Has sunburnt

我怕我真的真的很怕

我怕我怕我怕我怕我怕

I just gave it up right there. right there. I don't know what happened to me nor what came over me. I played like shit and seriously like the shittiest player you will have ever seen. i'm sorry. i'm sorry team. sorry sorry sorry. i know no matter how many sorries i say, it ain't gonna change anything. i really feel so useless that i just seem so useless on court, like just one redundant player running all over the place and not getting the ball and even not clearing. not offering not defending not jumping. what the hell am i doing.

before the match i told myself no matter what happens, our morale has to be up. i told myself i will try my best. but is this really my best. is my so called 'best' so bloody pathetic. i guess so. i'm always not doing things i've promised myself. broken them again and again. how useless. i dont know how else i can help myself, but the only thing i can assure you guys, is that i cheered my heart out. that was the only thing left that i could do.

sorry guys. sorry sorry sorry. i wasted 5 minutes for the first quarter, doing nothing. just taking up space on the court. i dont know what came over me but i just didnt move. i didnt move i didnt jump i didnt do anything. sorry, but what does it mean anyway. i dont know i dont know i dont know. i feel like the lousiest player, and the most redundant in the team even though i know i'm not supposed to think like that.

but it's experience that counts. they cried. they made me wanna cry too. i felt really bad really really bad for that. i feel so useless screaming on court cos it doesn't even seem to make a difference. left right left right back, does it really help. liyi was going around hugging everyone, but i prayed hard she wouldn't come to me after the NUS match, the match they cried. because i will break down i definitely will. i thank myself for not breaking down because i think it'll just make things worse.

good job defenders. you've done the defenders part well. you guys blocked defended intercepted balls so nicely. held ball , best of all. i'm sorry i couldn't help. i could only help to call and cheer my heart out for you guys. thank you thank you thank you for being so wonderful, so zai. thank you for persevering till the end. thank you.

good job midfields. even though there were some times that there were clashing, still, in the end we still managed to slow down the pace and not get affected even though it still ended up quite fast. good job for bringing down the ball, those runs those strong takes. it really meant a lot.

good job shooters. your shots just got better and better.

good job team, i really don't know what else i can tell you guys but just thank you. thank you for this wonderful experience which made me feel so sucky throughout the entire day. i hope i didn't show that on my face. good job good job. even though we lost, it's the experience that matters. an experience i'll never want to face again.

lousy play lousy takes lousy passes lousy runs lousy rebounds.

i don't know what am i doing.

when will i ever be able to overcome myself.

i just think i've got a very strong front and that's something good.

我到底为什么要把自己搞成这样

以前受伤还不够多吗

遗憾

2010-01-05T16:16:00.004+08:00

Carnival's coming i'm kinda excited. Although the first school we will meet is SSS and that's probably kinda .. depressing. But yep, i hope our morale will still keep up high! :) My stamina died. I hate this stupid migraine in my head. ): It keeps making me vomit after i run, and usually it's after i run. On monday, which is yesterday, i vomited when i was running and i had to stop running >:( How irritating is that.

And my stamina is definitely not up to the mark. I don't know what am i vomiting out because there's just like water water water. ): I didn't eat anything yet i still can vomit. Gah D:<

I don't know, trainings are probably getting quite fun :) Since we work more on courtwork since carnival is like this saturday! Ah ): I hope i won't vomit on thursday . I hate vomitting. Hate hate hate hate

But going home with joy and geeling was pretty funny. LOL. :) Geeling keeps laughing at everything and anything and joy did the roll eyes thing which was hilarious xD . Sai sai i don't wanna go to school. I don't know how to improve my stamina ): I can't really run for the first week if not my face will be flushed up red and i probably won't have any stamina to bring the sec ones around the school for sec 1 orientation and stuff.

So i can only start running like, after carnival? I don't know what's the use but yep. Hopefully we won't die for carnival. Yep yep, we wont die we wont die we wont die :) We'll strive through woo. :D because we're nynb. And i'm zi-highing on my own now. No homework. No nothing. There's nothing to do.

Stone.

2010-01-02T21:39:00.003+08:00

You guys will never ever bother about me. How irritating is that. You guys only bother about yourselves, about quarreling. I hate it i hate it. You will never ever bother i can't stand it anymore. Do you guys even treat me as your child? All you guys know is quarrel about small stuff. It's not like some bloody fucking big matter and you guys have to quarrel. My dad even left house for the night. How fantastic. Go on quarreling. You guys always told me ''you'll be sorry'' when i wanted to get back to training. Continue quarreling, continue to dao each other like this. Let me tell you, if this continues, you guys will be the ones who are sorry.

Such irresponsible adults, just thinking for themselves, have they ever thought for me as a child? I really dk what i can do. What i can do is to cry cry cry. I feel so fucking lousy. There's like nothing i can do. Whatever. I once almost ended up with a broken family. And now, i'm not afraid to admit, i'm scared. Yes i'm scared. I'm scared everything will become like what happened last time. I've had enough. Many people say: Just let things be, don't think too much. the problem is can i really do that. it's so tough.

I'm left with nothing when this happens. really nothing.

a simple sorry wont hurt,

you guys always had to force me to this,

darn undesirable state

2010-01-02T02:09:00.002+08:00

It's because we care, it's as simple as that. 2010 is going to be a booming start. everything's going to be so different from how it was last time and i finally learnt how to let go. it's not easy. and i don't think i ever want to let go. what a loser i am, you must be thinking. 2009 has been such a great year, all those memories i'd never ever want to say goodbye to, and all those people who will always always always have a special place in my heart.

306 306, it just appears and seems so .. 陌生 . In my heart it's still 205 205, but it's time for goodbye, since 2 months ago. When i feel like giving up, i realise i couldn't, because all these is what i have left. And if i give this up, there's nothing else i'm ever left with. I cannot give up and wait around for nothing.

goodbye 2009, hi 2010. seasons, carnivals, school. everything's gonna come crashing down on us. we'll survive it like how we survived 2009, like how we survived everything else that we didn't think we could. for me, like how i survived watching for 4 months. i survived. the team won't be teared apart it won't it won't. because all of us are going to stick so close together that the bond will still be there, that we still feel like a team. because we are one.

those memories i will keep close to my heart. like a gunshot it's gone, but what you remember is what happened before that.

thank you thank you thank you .

it has all been more than enough to last

2010-01-02T02:03:00.002+08:00

Today's my mum's birthday. Happy birthday mum! :) 1st jan, what a cool day to have your birthday! Like the entire world countdown for your birthday cool right :) Today went out to iluma at bugis, woah damn high class one, don't even have food court. But we went to a japanese restaurant for Jap food steamboat. I ate don't know how many plates of mushrooms and fishballs, I bet i gained a lot of weight ): The diet for the past few days have been wasted AHHH! ): That left me with no space for my nachos and popcorn , which made the movie pretty boring because the mouth ain't moving.

I've got to say, alvin and the chipmunks are freakinggggggggggggggg cuteeeeeeeeee.

how cute :) Today has been great, but the thought of going back to school on monday just makes me totally sian. I don't know how am i going to wake up on that day ): Oh avril please please please don't emo on me ): I think i'll die ):

2009-12-30T20:54:00.000+08:00

BERNICE GOH IS DAMN FUNNY :) idk how she got into 314. LOUSY LOUSY ): she called me stupid ): how. break my heart eh D:

'fishers' WOOO :D should i put it on facebook :)

2009-12-30T00:12:00.002+08:00

Yes we made it through. Ah ): Orientation will be pretty screwed. I'm damn stressed. Oh, and class gathering totally screwed up it's cancelled :) Because some people all very sian very sian. Then go marina square also quite boring, yes i know, but i dont know where else can we go already. It's really that tough to keep the class together if you guys didn't know. You guys should try it out one day. I really wasted my sms-es, call times and saliva trying to get people to come. And it always fails. Some people somemore give me attitude. Xinhui said she was trying to act cool, right. That fcuked up attitude. I don't care i don't bother. Whatever. Don't want come then don't come lah. Like as if you go to that school then will become like princess or whatever. Don't want come then don't come. This is like seriously the first time me and xinhui totally gave up on our class. It was not really bonded to start with, now we don't even feel like going back to rulang. I think this should be the worse already bah.

Holidays are plain bad and it's getting worse and worse. Montage was just done and i'm feeling freaking sleepy yet i can't go to bed. I've had a splitting headache since 10 plus and till now i'm still on the computer. Oh yes i'm seriously trying to kill myself. My stomach hurts and i've got diarrhea. Woo :) Ah lousy shitxzxz. Our montage is damn screwed, you guys know why? Because it's done by me it's so freaking ugly and music is not even working ): My music ): ): Ah. Sec 1 orientation proposals. Gah. Netball exhibition, oh bla. Liyi's feeling worse now i guess. She's been out the entire day and she has a match tomorrow, as in school team has a match. Jiayou jiayou :)

I went to pasir ris today. Kinda bored and rushed out my essay if not i will be too lazy to do it. I cant believe that school is reopening next week. I refuse to believe it. I dont want a new class. I want my 205 ): I'm living in the world of my own, when i'm still in sec 2. Oh i want my 205 i want my 205. Sec 3 life will be pretty screwed i guess, in addition there is sec 1 orientation. I bet i wont even be able to catch up with work. Uh gah. My mum's so going to nag at me again and again. Holidays suck. It just passed so quickly i didn't even feel like it was the holidays. And things are going to start all over again. I just want my beauty sleep which i have been deprived of for the entire month. I'm going to have panda eyes really soon.

beauty sleep . so near yet so far

2009-12-27T21:04:00.001+08:00

It ain't hurting. You're still breathing. Hang in there, for us, for those you love.

It's going to be over, like how mine was. Hang in there. Because it's going to be worth it.

:) Sacrifices have to be made, but you will last through it.

I'll last through it i'll last through it i'll last through it.

So will you .

2009-12-27T21:01:00.000+08:00

I'm scared i'm scared ): I don't know why am i scared. ): Jingwen's scared too. ): Let's jiayou together. But i bet you, i'll be last. My stamina can't last ):

Aw dammit.

2009-12-26T21:45:00.002+08:00

I'm pissed very pissed. I agree on what liyi said, the school never ever gives us a break. They just strangle us as though we are slaves and holidays are never ever known as holidays. So what if there's no school? Isn't everything still as bad as it is? I really wonder when will our dear school give us some space to breathe, some time to relax. I really wish i didn't enter this school, but yet sometimes i wonder what will I be if i didn't enter this school, if i didn't meet some people, if i didn't have these friends. And all these will be enough to be reasons to make school life happy, wonderful and fulfilling. I sound kinda stupid. How can school life ever be nice and fulfilling? That's just yet something i can't understand.

This stupid girl here is missing school life. I don't know how is school life going to be in sec 3, but definitely if i were in sec 2, i'd rather be in school. Like probably how all of us feel, we miss 205. we really really miss 205. How long can this last? Forever perhaps. I'm missing them already. I'm afraid of training. I'm afraid of Monday. I've got checkup and I hope it's in the morning . I'm scared i'm terrified. I really wonder how liyi has this very very magical feeling that i can always tell her anything, that i'm always afraid to tell so many other people. Yes i admit i'm close to my teammates, but sometimes i just can't open my mouth to tell them. I don't know if i'm just trying to put on a strong front and hide away that weak self.

Liyi oh liyi, you are always there for me, telling me to jiayou. you avril oon jiayou too okay! And yes it's true, there's nothing else i know i can do but to say jiayou and keep being by your sides to cheer you guys on. The whole team will cheer you guys on, that's for sure. That's what makes a real, true team. And because of that we're nynb. I don't know how i'm going to last. I don't know if i can. But i must.

it was once a promise, now a must.

2009-12-25T11:52:00.001+08:00

I know i'm going to last it through,

And that's all that matters.

2009-12-24T21:19:00.000+08:00

I hope it won't be intervals. My stamina's dying.

I realised that wishes never come true

2009-12-23T20:55:00.003+08:00

I went for training today. The feeling on court was simply great. But the ankle brace is seriously damn freaking hard. It just made my leg hurt even more. But i'm glad i persevered through the warmup. 3 rounds around the school. Normal. But i was dying after the first round. See how much my stamina dropped, not as thought it was good to start with! haha :D

AH ): There's always difficulty to get the whole team together to go out ! :D i wanna go to the zoo. haha we can take loads and loads of pictures. its a promise :) I miss my team. and penguin and xiuyi came back today ): omg i missed them like shitxzxz. :D

Today's training was fun :) Although my stamina sucked like hell. I finally got back the feeling of playing GD on court. i really missed that feeling a lot a lot. GK too :) But i'm kinda feeling lost on court now. ): Haha. we dont communicate much i dont know why. I dont know why i just stopped calling out for peizhen/shuyi. zhiyi didn't come today. ah i think i'm mute manxz ): And jingwen was very funny today. A lot of malu things happened to her! She made us laugh until i think our abs quite strong alr ah :D And she was damn high and pizza hut, she was trying to learn from Geraldine. Geraldine ''blew'' the clouds away when it was going to rain! LOL. damn funny one (:

i love my team. it's a fact you cant deny.

2009-12-22T18:24:00.000+08:00

All of these will be enough to last :)

2009-12-22T18:16:00.002+08:00

Okay i kinda don't know how i'm feeling now. I'm pissed bcos of a certain somebody yet happy because i can train alr. Okay i'm feeling .. contradictory, i guess. I don't know how people survive with her. She contradicts herself and always thinks she's right. that she's forever right. I seriously cannot stand this kind of people. No brain. Stupid enough already still want to show how stupid you are? I'm not claiming i'm clever, I'm stupid too. But at least i dont go around contradicting myself like how a loser like you do. I seriously just want to smash your head and cut it apart. I guess it's as juicy as a watermelon.

Okay the happy part for today, my physiotherapist finally lets me train, provided I promise her that i'll stop once it hurts. And guess what, my physiotherapist is quitting from raffles ): And i'm going to have a new therapist which i doubt i'll like him ): He's damn fierce and not nice at all D: I wanna change physio! D:<>

Tomorrow i'm gonna try to run. But i think it's going to fail like totally ): I just pray hard it won't hurt. Intervals will kill me, like seriously oh seriously ): Duh. Ah, i don't know i really don't. ): There's this motivation that kept me going till now, and when i heard i could go back to train, it suddenly died off and ran away ): Now where has my motivation gone to! D: I'm feeling pretty lost now and I don't know what to say or what to do. I haven't told my dad. I guess I'll get a scolding from him again. Again.

Pray hard for a shooting star,

2009-12-22T12:20:00.003+08:00

Woah best lor. I think need change phone number alr sia. Some useless bitch see me buay song lah please. Anyhow put my number on other people blog. -.- Wtf ? Not so xl.

Zenny Looks like you dunno me but nevermind that. You hot lol...not spamming ar, imma just saying that you are one hot person! please call me, 97818316.

Zenny PLEASE CALL! i LOVE YOU! Whether you have girlfriend or not i dun care

Zenny yway, Kai Ting, what right do you have to scold him Zi Lian? I see your blog you never zi lian meh?

wtf thank god he didn't call me okay -.- He text me. Eh please lah I so bo liao go his blog say i love him for what. Don't even know him, still say he's hot. wtf ? I seriously got some stupid bloody enemy somewhere lah. Eh seriously fcuking boliao can. -.- Not even me i kena taiji sia. -_- ! Now even his girlf thinks i want to snatch him away. Eh please lah, use your brains. -.-

Sibei pekchek sia. No reason kena scolding, best lor. (: and anyway to those people who don't know me and still think that it's me. That's not the way i type. (: Losers.

2009-12-21T21:06:00.002+08:00

I really don't know what i can tell you guys ): I've been repeating again and again but you guys just make me feel lost. I don't know what i can say to make you guys better. I don't know how to cheer and root for yall, making yall feel better. I really don't know what to do ):

chenchuen , chenliyi. jiayou. there's nothing else i know how to say other than this. but jiayou .

our love will keep you going.

2009-12-21T18:24:00.002+08:00

Sai. Physio is actually tomorrow :O I'm damn blur. Ah ): stressed. i feel like taking sleeping pills to sleep D:< i'm having insomnia ! ):

2009-12-21T10:23:00.001+08:00

I really don't want to make the people who care worry. Ah ): Okay! Going for physio today i hope she allows me to train ): I think I'm just going to ask her about this every time i go for physio. Getting back to training will be tough ): I wonder if I will be able to catch up with everything. But i'll try :) Okay enough about trainings and netball, it's kinda depressing isn't it!

Me and xinhui are going to eat sushi buffet on Tuesday woo :D Cool! Last time we went to eat also, then i definitely ate more than her lor. She this pig lousy one. Eat so little. I think I'm going to starve for today to make space for tomorrow sushi buffet :) After i eat the buffet I'm going to be so broke ): How sucky. Whatever :D Holidays are boring idk why ):

teammates oh teammates. shuyi xiuyi kuai dian hui lai (: all of us are waiting for yall :B

2009-12-18T19:23:00.002+08:00

I see. everything that i do is wrong. everything is wrong. no matter what i do it's wrong. it's always wrong i'm always wrong. fine then you're so bloody clever that everything you do is right. and don't think that just because you are an elder that you are so smart and smarter than everyone else. Nothing's wrong with my tone and I don't see why am i getting scolded. Always. Always. Always.

Sometimes it just pains my heart so much to be sitting by the side. Sometimes i wish i can be on court with them. Sometimes i just wish i ain't who i am. Sometimes i just wish i can have some peace, yet i just want someone i can speak to. I miss my teammates ): Where are yall ): We're dying for carnival.

Sometimes i just tend to think, i'm glad i made this far. But is this far enough? Is this what i really want? I always get scolded for wanting to get back on court. Always. Yes the choice is mine the decision is mine, it's not that i've got no choice. But the main point is that, it's that motivation that keeps me going. My teammates that make me want to get back on court. Yes the decision is mine, and my decision is to continue playing. You always said you will respect my decision, but you never did when my decision was not something you liked. You said it was for my own good. How serious can it possibly get? If an expert says i can get back on court, shouldn't everything get back to square 1? When i can finally work hard again.

It's not that i'm defying your orders. It's not that i'm getting rebellious. I'm just wanting to do something that i've been yearning to do for the past 4 months. Forget it, you will never understand. Everytime i talk to you about this, it always ends up with an argument, a quarrel. I really wonder when will it be that you respect my decision and let me do what I want. You always make it sound as if i'm really going to die the moment i step back on court. You always tell me, '' You will be sorry, I tell you. '' You always use this to threaten me. Sorry about what? This is my life and I choose the way i want to walk and the path I want to take.

I've always been trying to be that good little daughter of yours but you always seem to be so nice and so un-nice at times. I really don't know what's happening. Is this really you? It just seemed so different from in the past. Yes i may complain sometimes about trainings and stuff, but that doesn't mean that i want to quit. I never ever said i want to quit. Someday, i just really wish you will respect my decision and encourage me on it. And not scolding me everytime i tell you what i wanna do. It just gets so tiring having to face my teammates and you. The stress is just unbelievably heavy and one day, I will break down. I assure you that. And let me tell you, '' When that day comes, You will be sorry.''

I'm glad i managed this far. Jiayou to the special someone

2009-12-16T23:14:00.002+08:00

you pretty fine? you skinny fine? YES. im fat im ugly shit. so what. i xialan so what. :) at least i dont go fcuking everyone everywhere okay (: not like you. i aint as cheap and lowclass as you. because you've got no education. no nothing.

i'd be laughing you've got a baby.

2009-12-12T22:09:00.002+08:00

I'm actually kinda bored and stuff but i just played audi (: our fam rocks! there's nothing much to post and im damn bored now lah as usual ): my reason for people to join our fam is that we're friendly and nice. we're definitely active and we hope to have a fam outing soon (: it's going to be damn fun even though im so ugly but whatever wee :) lol. liyi's overseas. avril's sian. oon's lame. tricia's outside. yunting's in taiwan. shuyi's in china. zhiyi's in idk where. xiuyi's overseas. esther didnt come ): okay how fantastic. there's chalet next week and we havent even prepared food or called for bbq. i'll end up having to go to tampines to buy the food for steamboat with geeling on monday ): i guess chalet is going to be super slack and we're so going to watch so many movies and i think i am just going to slack and stone throughout the entire 3 days ):

netballers are so zai!

on a random note.

2009-12-11T20:39:00.000+08:00

i really wont know what to do without her.

ily liyi. ily ily ily!

2009-12-09T21:35:00.002+08:00

To this very special someone who feel very tired from everything,

don't worry, because all you've got to do is to put in your best. whenever you are tired and just want to rest, lie back and your teammates will be there to catch you. whenever you feel like crying, i'll lend you a crying shoulder. whenever you need help, we'll be there for you. whenever you feel so tired from running that you just want to give it up, look at the sidelines. look at your teammates, for we will be there rooting and cheering for you. don't ever ever give up.

your team, will always be your team. when you need us, we will be there. we promise. it's going to be tough yes i know. but jiayou. jiayou for yourself jiayou for the team jiayou because you won't want all those efforts to go down the drain. all those runs, all those intervals, all those passes, all those drills. you wont want to walk off the court like we did on c div. with regrets. all those are over and now we are left with the present.

dont worry about the bond, dont worry even if you got into school team. because that's a treasured opportunity. your team will be backing you up. we will be cheering you on. because for that, we are a team. a real team. work hard for nanyang netball, learn hard and jiayou. it's going to be a great experience when you look back at your netball days in the future. you'll think and smile, at least you've done it. we'll all work hard together next year. and for now, jiayou. we will be here for you. we promise. we mean it.

we love you :)

2009-12-09T12:28:00.003+08:00

:) i'm feeling kind of confused now. haha all i feel like doing now is to stone. and nothing else. yea holidays are fun but it gets super sian when you dont have anything to do at all ): and at this kind of sian sian time, audi died on me. how fantastic :) i'm like stuck at home since i came back from bangkok. and i've got food poisoning.

woo. how cool is that. out of 5 days i'm there i'm sick for 3 days. i'm soooooo pissed. food poisoning seh. there's nothing else i can do but shit vomit shit vomit shit vomit. but at least there's something to be happy about. i think, at least i think so. :) my physiotherapist is going to let me know if i can train this friday :) probably not too intensive ones but it's going to be a great start at least :) at least much better than sitting at the side and stoning while the rest of the team is training hard and improving :) i'm fat. real fat.

i guess now even climbing a flight of stairs i'll pant like a dog. nanyang netball nanyang netball. when's going to be the time that i get back on court and play like a team again. thank you to those who have encouraged me. thank you to those who have waited for me. thank you to those who never failed to be by my side whenever i was upset or just injured .. again . i still remember the times during c div, and no i'm not holding on to the past and not moving to the future, those were just very wonderful memories which i still have as working as a team, before everything ended.

nynb just gives me this very magical feeling. seeing those teammates around you just makes you wanna work harder. for yourself. for them. for the team. working hard, it became something impossible for the past 4 months. i really miss that feeling on court. it's going to be tough to get back, it's going to be tough for trainings. but i just really really want to work hard again. and this time i'll treasure it i promise. words, they are just very simple words. but to what extent can i bring my words to? i really dont know.

nynb nynb i just want my team back. that's all. we're going to remain as a team no matter what :) i love you nynb. <3

shuyi yunting tricia liyi lingting avril zhiyi esther oon xiuyi ;

thats my team :)

2009-12-02T12:59:00.001+08:00

i'm going to miss twofive.

2009-11-30T20:01:00.002+08:00

i know that no matter how much i say, i guess you'll all think its excuses. no matter and regardless of whether it is the truth or not, i think you'll never ever believe in me again. reality is just so cruel and harsh. when i thought i could finally join back, things happen again. i really dont know how to handle all these. i dont know why is all these happening to me. some people may care, some people may not. i dont know and i dont care anymore.

if thats how you look at me, so be it.

no matter how much i just want yall to believe, i guess it'll never happen. and because i fell down once before, i have alr learnt how to stand up on my own. and because of this, i dont need you. i repeat.

i dont need you.

reality falls back in my hands

2009-11-27T22:47:00.002+08:00

i dont know what else i can say to you guys, fivers. but all i want to say is that you guys have been a fantastic class. the best class anybody else could ask for. no matter how much we argued, how much we quarelled, how much we fought, and regardless of how many conflicts we had, our love for each other remains the same.

once a fiver, always a fiver.

we'll conquer all these,

just like a fiver.

2009-11-26T22:36:00.001+08:00

sheeny, if you say you didnt want to quarrel, then fucking stop commenting lah. so what if i called you a bitch. you've got no idea why okay. there's always a reason and i wont call you a bitch just because i just dont like you. if i dont like you, i'll just say i dont like sheeny chua. i dont like her. i wont call you a bitch for no rhyme or reason. i wont call you a bitch if you didnt do something that was really bad. i wont call you a bitch if you didnt disturb my friends and still try to act like such a nice angel.

if you really want to know about everything add me on msn. stop disturbing my blog. stop spamming my fucking tagboard. stop everything you're doing because you said i said that you make it sound like you're childish. and yes you are. if you want to trash things out, add me on msn. i wont mind thrashing things out .

stop arguing stop quarreling. its fucking irritating.

2009-11-26T21:44:00.002+08:00

to our very dear sheeny:

number one, this is my blog. i like it, i put it. if not then i dont put it. i dont really need your permission. so what if its your name, not happy dont see. im not forcing you to see okay. i didnt force your face into your damn monitor and force you to read the post. if you not happy, dont see. and dont think all of us dont know what you said behind our backs either, if you can do it, so can we. and we dont really tell you that we give you our permission to write our names when you are talking behind our backs. (: and basically because we dont really bother. you can write all you want.

number two, you made it sound as if we are the ones that are childish to have said all these. but the point is that you are the one who started it. you can see it, but everything will be fine if you didnt comment. i already said that so what if its you, so what if it isnt? :D do you even have to be so bothered by it? okay i admit its you. so? what can you do about it? give me the permission to put your name. how fantastic can you possibly get. i dont need your bloody permission alright. i put it when i like it. if i dont like i dont put it, you cant do anything about it either.

number three, we didnt say anything when you were talking bad about us and xueyi on your blog. we didnt comment, we didnt say we give you permission. so why must you be so childish and come read my posts or whatsoever. you said you didnt want to quarrel, i ain't quarreling with you. please please please do not think so highly of yourself because i simply cant stand it when you think too highly of yourself. (: this post is dedicated to you just because i cant be bothered to see you spamming my tagboard again.

number four, look here. you are the one that is childish, not us. you dont really have to be bothered about whatever i say since we aint friends alright. you can talk bad about me on your blog, i dont go around commenting if i know its me. i wont ask if its me. i wont be as stupid as you (: you just go around asking and letting more people know how many people dont like you? i know that you dont like me. so be it, because i really dont bother (: you can call me a bitch, slut, dog. whatsoever dear. :D

basically, its just a very simple conclusion. a very simple answer. you dont wish to quarrel, neither do i. just be honoured i wasted time on you.

it's just a very simple sentence,

i just dont bother

2009-11-19T16:16:00.001+08:00

这一切对我而言已经不重要了

all these made my tears roll. all these that happened to me. so fantastic. my life cannot get any better than this, trust me.

i've had enough.

its the end.

2009-11-19T11:50:00.002+08:00

i finally realise how unfair life can get. no matter how much you work hard for, how much effort you put in, it'll never be seen. no matter how much i do, no matter how much i strive hard for, end up i just get stabbed in the back, and just drop to the bottom. life is just so unfair. now i really wonder what for am i working so hard for. to get stabbed in the back? i dont know why i'm trying to be so strong while im just so vulnerable inside. its just because im too weak inside, thats why i've got to put up a strong front. i guess nobody i ever understand all these, but i've had enough. i've had enough of nanyang i've had enough of all these unfairness.

people talking behind your back, people backstabbing you, and people who get into categories they want just because of biasness. how fantastic life can be, i really dont know. i only know my life is just so freaking screwed now that im so numb to whatever that is happening. to those who got into BSP/CLEP, congratulations.

yet for me, yes what cherie said was right, it is all fated. so what for go against fate. i really dont know cherie. i really dont know. i dont know what to do. and what if i really cant appeal in. i just know that .. all these i've been working hard for, trying to do my best, is all bullshit. because your life and streaming just gets fated by certain people who are so obviously biased, and freakingly unfair.

sometimes its not whether you work hard enough mum,

it's just that its all by something called fate.

which i never believed in.

2009-11-07T20:35:00.000+08:00

netball. 205.

i just wish pictures wasn't so influential.

i just wish i never looked at them.

pictures oh pictures,

you make my heart hurt.

2009-11-03T21:03:00.001+08:00

a picture speaks a thousand words

twofive's legacy will go on.

twofive,

we'll never be ripped apart.

drama fest, ripped apart.

see you there.

2009-10-30T20:41:00.004+08:00

I know that we aint the most perfect class. i know that we can be super noisy at times that we cant even stand one another. i know that some people really can be very irritating at times, like me. i know some people dont like some others. but no matter what, as every simple yet unique individual, when together, we make one whole. one exquisite, sooo not simple whole. an unique whole. the once and ever, 205'09 ♥

we made it there, when we thought we wouldnt. we helped one another in the darkness, when we could not see anything but feel. the tiredness, efforts, missing of sleep etc just for this drama fest' 09. some people may think: its just drama. what for? we dont even have to bother. i guess that was what all of us once thought. but it has become different when all of us came together to work for a common goal. yes, our goal is to get into the finals, and eventually win the title of champions for drama fest 09. the first and last drama fest '09. but the feeling really changes when everybody comes together, and when what all of us are thinking are no longer to win, but just to go out there on stage, regardless of whether you are backstage or acting, and just to try your best in everything you do.

some people may not be acting, some people may just be doing costumes, designs, props, sounds, lighting, publicity. but so what? i believe all of us have tried our best. and screamed our hearts out for everything we did. i dont know how the entire class will be feeling now if we didnt get into the finals, and get to perform one last time, try hard together as a class for one last time next thursday, 5th nov 2009. the last day of school, the last time ♥205'09 will ever strive hard together again. so what if we are just moving the props? everybody matters in this. every single person.

me and jamie were holding hands so tightly when they were about to announce who would proceed to the finals. we were so afraid that we wouldnt, even though all of us already said we tried our best etc, i know there's room for improvement for nothing is perfect. but i know deep down in every single fiver heart, we want to win this. we want to proceed on to the finals. even though we will probably have to stay back many times, rehearse again and again after school, but i guess we wont mind all these as long as we had another chance to work hard together with our class. i guess to us, that's all that matters. really. thats all that matters. just to work hard together as a class again. to have fun and strive hard again, as 205'09. because this is the last chance and we really want to do everything we can to grab hold of this.

how we wish that time wouldnt pass so quickly. i just cannot imagine that the last day of school is during our last performance. regardless of whether we win or not, i really hope all of us will be smiling, because we all have tried our best, regardless of which committee we are in. i sent the entire class a sms, but not all of them replied. i didnt do much for this drama fest, so i guess this is the only thing i can ever do for them. to know that they rock. to know that i love them so much, not because they are the coolest, cleverest, prettiest class. but just because they are 205'09. just because of this point, they make me head over heels. i love them just so much. so much that no words can ever describe it.

twofive you guys are really the best class anyone else could ahve. (: thank you for being so wonderful and perfect! we are so going to end drama fest with a boom. let's try our best and put a perfect fullstop as a class. twofive's legacy will go on! (: i love you guys!

i really do. from the bottom of my heart. when we screamed our class cheer just now, i really searched my mind for all those memories we had as a class for two whole years. i remember the times when i was injured and they always asked if i was okay, they took care of me and even brought a wheelchair. i remember the times during inter-class games that we screamed our voices to cheer for our class until i had high fever and very serious sore throat the next day. but still, it was definitely worth it. i remember the times when we screamed whenever someone won a prize. i remember the times that the class were so noisy until i got super pissed. i still remember what i always used to say: '' fish market ah? '' how typical. i really missed our class cheer alot. and the three cheers to 205 and the unite class cheer really almost made me cry. but i managed to hold my tears back. i looked at almost everyone when we were screaming the cheer. i was thinking: how much will i miss these special people when we have to part? i've got the answer. alot.

twofive unite we'll show our might

we show them how our people fight

we fight them in the sun

we fight them in the rain

we fight fight fight, till we win this game.

we will ~ we will~ rock you HA!

rock you HA!

we will ~ we will~ rock you HA!

rock you HA!

we will ~ we will ~

step you flat like a gingerbread,

and never let you stand.

three cheers twofive.

these cheers meant alot. we screamed our hearts out when we knew we got into the finals. we screamed so loudly for our cheers. i guess that was really the loudest i heard these cheers, apart from the time last year during choral and drama night that these cheers were so loud that i almost burst my eardrums. i believed we screamed from the bottom of our heart. that reminded us that we are a fiver now. and will forever be a fiver, regardless of how old we are, regardless of which class all of us go to.

yixian, pangpang, and whoever else who cried. dont cry anymore. it should be something all of us are happy about, entering the finals for dramafest. i know that we are so gonna rock the house. i know that we are so gonna put in our 200% best and strive to win. even if we dont win, at least we know we tried our best, as a class. as 205'09. as what i always say

enjoy these happy memories while it lasts

leave the tears for the last.

2009-10-27T18:24:00.000+08:00

I hid my tears away because im just not strong enough.

not strong enough to accept harsh facts.

not strong enough to accept the truth .

how lousy can you get lingting.

total failure.

2009-10-25T17:14:00.003+08:00

somehow in one way or another,

i know it.

these memories will stay in some part of our heart.

some part of our minds.

even if it is just 2 days and 1 night,

its enough,

to last us till sec 1 orientation.

we will last through,

and look forward to the fun we're going to have once again.

2009-10-25T10:39:00.004+08:00

im missing group K alot too ): especially all the fun. i didnt remember last year's PSL camp was so fun. i guess that it was just basically because i was sec 1 then and it felt really weird to speak to your seniors and all the sec 1s were like .. super quiet. haha (: but still i had fun last year. even though i got injured and got freaked out and cant play water games etc. it sucked alot for those parts. but thank goodness i didnt get injured this year. im so pleased and happy hahah :D of course, this year's PSL camp was so fun because it was group K ! and bernice was in it partially. she's like the total sunshine of our whole team because she never fails to cheer us up. she tells us random lame jokes which are like .. -_________- and which i really take super long to get it into my head, and understand what she is talking about. bernice called me a tortoise. no i am not (: i'm too tall to be a tortoise okay. giant tortoise ah! HAH :D but yeaaaa im really slow in the mind D: aiya no choice lah hor bernice i was born like that . boooooo!

kylee was so cute yesterday she was totally like sms-ing me and she was so damn afraid that linsha was angry with her or pissed with her because kylee was so scared of the so called ''scary linsha''. haha linsha's not scary lah kylee (: and kylee doesnt know how to tell linsha sorry because she said she felt weird saying sorry for something that she didnt know what went wrong. haha kylee its alright one lah. you dont have to care so much (: or rather, you can just linsha on msn. i dont really think she's angry with you lah (: linsha went for anger management classes okay! i dont think she will get angry so easily lah (: as all of us say, she's our best pest, and our best group leader -- LINSHA mah :D haha. she wont get angry so easily one lah (: dont worry so much kylee, you bodoh head. and a pig that i bet havent even woke up now because she smsed me at like 1 plus saying linsha tagged her -.- ! and told me it's okay if she woke up at 1pm today because she sleep at 1.20am. aiyo sleep around 12 hours leh. you tell me, she pig or not leh! haha (: i miss kylee's NONONONO, that always never fails to make the whole team smile. because of her stupidity and funny actions lah. she always say the same thing. NONONO. kylee's 招牌 haha (:

during dinner we said many lame jokes lah. and bernice the les said super many lameeee jokes that i was like. WALAO SO LAME and i pushed her head. i shall say some here! all of you will give me the super diao look can. like : -.- HAHAH :D thats my zhao pai look can :D wooo!

What did Sushi A tell Sushi B?

My answer: Hi Sushi C. (LOL?!)

Answer: Wassup B (wasabi!) DIAOOO :D

Why did the coconut tree get struck by lightning?

My answer: Tall?

Answer: Its sways (Suay!)

Why is Mas Selamat two-third woman?

My answer: He's not a man.

Answer: He's a wanted man (one-third man, so two-third woman)

When is a car not a car?

My answer: when its not driving

Answer: when it turns into a road

HAHAHAH. there's a lot a lot a lot more but i just cant seem to remember it all. D: even though its just a two days one night camp and the one night we didnt sleep with the team, but still, somehow i feel as though we've known each other for very long. im really amazed how a camp of 2 days and 1 night can bond group K so much. is it because all of us are super nice? or is it just because we just have this special bond within us? I really miss group K. truly, from the bottom of my heart, i enjoyed this camp. we had super loads of fun. especially like the night trial, when kylee was about to get kidnapped, haha. all of us were fighting like idk what! I almost broke my arm because of you, kylee. never thank me huh! if not you already kidnapped to dont know where crying on your own already canxzxzxz! never say thank you huh so rude. and you ate the fries you bought for me (HELLO?!) im damn hungry inside the audi and the canteen was not open and im starving.

and on bernice blog, it was like damn nice k. ''ahahahaha but I think our group bonded loads in the night trail, that's why we got the prize for winner at the night trail!! whooooots! but lingting was damn sad we won for that 'cos she wanted maggi mee as the prize ._. '' HAHAHAHAH (: WOOO. thats like of course i was damn hungry after lunch can. even though the lunch for the last day was nice, and nice nice etusko gave me her eggs (my fav!) and i gave her the long beans (because it was spicy). and i wanted maggi mee canxzxzxz. i was damn hungry and it was down to the last 2 prizes. i was like praying we'll get maggi mee but we DIDNT. D: i was damn sad you can ask bernice. HAHAHAH D: i was like eeee ):

and at last, when linsha went up to receive the prize for us for the night trial, we screamed ''WE LOVE YOU LINSHA'' it was definitely a wonderful ending for all of us together. it was a superb and fantastic and perfect camp anybody else could have. i guess it'll be better than any other. (: and all of us are so unique that we are perfect when we make up one whole, one Group K, one Potassium (: even though we bully one another, even though we make fun of one another, even some dao, even if some eats a lot like a pig (me!) , we just all seem so special in one another's eyes (: and group K really rules the world. as what linsha stated in her email: Group K. K's cool. (: HAHAH. yeap we're the cool group wooo.

i really cant wait for sec one orientation. i miss you guys loads and loads and loads.

130 psls

13 groups
2 days

1 night

2009-10-23T17:26:00.003+08:00

camp's finally over. im seriously freaking dead tired lah can -_- we slept at like 12 plus and woke up at like 5? at least i woke up at 5 and woke the rest up at like 535? LOL. cos i was like -_- shitttt. i was so afraid my alarm wouldnt ring and i'd totally die on it lah please. cos liyi chooch cherie jahh never put alarm. so all is wait for me to wake them up can. ever heard of early bird catches the worm? we're the super early birds lah. we woke up the earliest and i think we woke others up too ): i think we made too much noise. oops :/ sorry! haha the teachers damn kelian. they have to mark, then come for camp, sleep with us in camp, wake up, continue camp and after that continue marking again. i'd swear, i'd never be a teacher. i cant imagine myself being a teacher especially with a temper like mine, the students all will transfer school. except for pai-kias that dont even bother what the hell you are saying and whether you scold them or not, or rather they wish you didnt exist. pai kias all think like this, isn't it? (: this is called common sense. wooo!

i was damn dead during drama after camp lor. i was damn tired and hungry (even though we just finished lunch like half an hour ago, the lunch was damn nice :D i loved the egg! as usual~ ) and i finished lavinia's fries. oops, sorry! heh :/ i was like idk what to do idk what to do. but our drama play was damn nice lah like serious. even though im not director or anything then i just stand at the bottom of the stage there. seriously watch them act out the whole thing is damn nice and damn fun can (: they're like so real, even though for some parts that have some loopholes and hiccups luh (: but if we work more on them, we can definitely give drama fest a blast boomxz. HAHAH! cmon twofiveeeeeeee. we can do this (: even though im like not helping much, i'll be cheering for yall in my heart kkkkkk!

oh. k reminded me of group K. we're group K potassium (: we're cool we are hot. we are pebble we are stone which makes the whole team rock. woooooo! im still feeling damn high i dont remember being so high during last year PSL camp haha (: and linsha is damn nice lahhhh. very nice to bully also. HAHAH :D wooo. group K group K. everything okayyyy lah (:

We will we will rock you AH rock you AH

we will we will rock you AH rock you AH

we will we will step you flat like a gingerbread

never let you step us back

for us everything's okay

because we are group K WOOOO (:

hahahah (: im damn high uh oh uh oh (: yay i love my PSL group this year manxzxzxz. and we're going to work again during sec 1 orientation (: we're gonna rule because we are group K, everything also okayyyyyyyyyy! woo (:

PPPOT , TTASS, SSIUM

POTASSIUM, THATS WHAT WE ARE MANXZXZ.

each and every single one of us are so different, yet so unique in our own ways.

yuanmin is quiet, but she can also be really nice and friendly and laughs non-stop at all our lame retarded jokes during dinner! jingwen is nice and friendly, she is willing to mix around with the team and openly discuss about suggestions, funny too! kylee is afraid of linsha and always turns away when linsha looks at her, but yet she can be really funny at times, especially when she got so scared during night trial and also when she says NONONONONO (as usual!) etusko is nice, friendly and very open to people around her. she doesnt mind talking and giving suggestions and always talks to seniors (which is good for a sec 1 like her). she's really cute and super clever (at least cleverer than me!) shannon is super talkative, but yet she's very creative at times. she cant stop talking and she always seems to have food on her (which is good for the team!) she's also crazy with korean songs! bernice is the lesbian, she keeps hugging me HAHAH. and once called me her lesbo partner (?!) it should be eunice that's your lesbian partner okay! HAHAH (: she's really nice and brings out the enthu in the team from her super lame jokes and warm hugs k! (: lingting is super retarded, super slow and can be very high at times when bernice makes her super high. she is proud to not get injured during this camp this time wooo! linsha is our dearest group leader, a pest but yet the best. linsha we love you HAHAH (: she's damn nice to bully but still our best ever leader. thank you linsha (:

yuanmin jingwen kylee etsuko shannon bernice lingting linsha,

together, one whole. none other than group K.

everything okayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy ~

2009-10-21T21:03:00.002+08:00

i've got no idea how stupid i can get.

after talking to jamie, yes i understand everything jamie. because it is happening to me too (: i shant disclose what it is about, and dont ask. its just that both of us are in the same boat jahhhh! (: so jiayous okay :D because i know everything will get back to normal. even if it is not going to happen, just let that be a wish. trust me, life will be so much better and easier and happier okay! stop giving me sad faces or else i'll slap you with the tennis racket woo!

cmon jiayou jahh (: we can do it de! just think it in the happier way okay. i dont know what to tell you because im also stuck in such a situation. all i can tell you is to jiayou. because that is basically what i tell myself everyday. regardless of whether it is because of netball, class stuff, psl, friends, cousins, or whatever other thing okay. as long as you believe in yourself, it'll stay in your heart and it'll keep you moving on.

its tough yes i know. especially when you need yourself to continue this for so long, everyday. hearing the same thing everyday. yet only able to keep your feelings to yourself because you dont want to hurt anybody, lose anybody. and you just suppress all your feelings to yourself, thats what i do too. i dont know whether it is better or it will just make things even worse. but sometimes i really dont know how to bring the message across. what if i say the wrong things? i bet you think this way too jahh! (: so great minds think alike. although my brain is like divide by 10 of yours lah :D

jiayous jahhh. together we can keep on moving along, regardless of whether we'll be clasmates or just ex-classmates(: cmon jiayou jahhh. we'll get through this together! weee :D

together together, it makes me feel full of friends.

yet i just lost a precious one.

2009-10-21T18:12:00.001+08:00

finally, irritating exams are finally over.

its time for liberation. time for freedom which we lost for so long (:

exams are finally over.

but there's psl camp tmr. im supposed to be looking forward to it, but yet, i just feel weird o.o ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ~

let me just enjoy tonight's serenity, at least.

at least for tonight

2009-10-18T17:39:00.002+08:00

i never knew such a thing will happen to you zhimin. you are like super nice, super friendly. a wonderful friend. but yet why did god want to play such a trick on you, on all of us? why did he let you go so quickly and easily, why didnt he let you stay alive longer to spread happiness among all your friends, classmates and everyone else that knows you. i promised myself i wouldnt cry, at least for this month i so, because i've got so tired of crying, just by the thought of thinking we will be separated with 205 .. and stuff. but why does god want to play this kind of trick on me. crying after crying, i've got so tired of it. yet god made me cry again this time.

this feeling is even worse than leaving 205. leaving anyone else. just thinking of the fact i wont ever be able to see zhimin again, is pure terrible.

thank you zhimin, for making me smile.

thank you zhimin, for all those encouraging words you gave me.

thank you zhimin, for staying by my side in the middle of the night when i needed someone to talk to.

thank you zhimin, for always giving me the courage to carry on.

thank you zhimin, for always helping me with homework.

thank you zhimin, for trying your best in whatever you are helping me with.

thank you zhimin, for never ever complaining about me nagging all the tme.

thank you zhimin, for your smiles that never failed to bright up my life.

thank you zhimin, for wiping away my tears.

thank you zhimin, for letting me become who i am now.

i may not be the perfect me, but thank you, for everything you have done for me.

its really saddening and heartbreaking to even think of the thought that you are gone forever.

those reckless drivers out there. even if you dont want to think for yourselves, think about others. that stupid fking bastard driver just drove away like that.

zhimin, your smile will go on.

i'll help you w it.

i'll be your smile and your body.

i'll learn to be one, w/o your help anymore.

in rememberance of zhimin,

rest in peace.

2009-10-18T11:04:00.002+08:00

when it is time for goodbye, i pray i wont cry.

let the smiles take over our world and let laughter dominate.

cries and sadness are for the weak, somebody once said.

if that's the case, everyone's weak.

just because,

when it is time for goodbye,

i believe everyone who bothered and cared,

will cry.

let's stay strong, for now

2009-10-17T17:39:00.002+08:00

history exam is over and i feel as though eoys are over. im totally slacking can. dont even have mood to study for geog and math and scienceeeee. ahhh die ~ im so going to fail geography lah can -_-! hais. D: lingting study study study. its not working boo ):

HAHAH. my blogshop is failing terribly wooooo!

i just want eoys to be over.

i just want back that freedom.

有你的未来，

不如会何在，

现在只会懂得

释怀

2009-10-13T15:14:00.001+08:00

OH DEAR IM FALLING SICK -_____________________________________-

im so going to fail eoys.

2009-10-12T13:53:00.001+08:00

when i thought i could continue,

for just this little moment,

for myself, for them.

but the horrible truth just crashed on me again.

i hope it wasnt true.

i cried for zzc, mr. chow, twofive.

there's no more tears in my eyes anymore.

i've got no energy to cry.

no energy to be sad.

all i've ever been doing was stone.

when that terrible truth came down on me,

i didnt cry as usual.

i realised i had no feelings.

stone heart

2009-10-11T19:12:00.002+08:00

if you wander off too far

my love will get you home

if you follow the wrong star,

my love will get you home.

if you ever find yourself,

lost and all alone,

get back on your feet and think of me,

my love will get you home boy,

my love will get you home.

if the bright lights blind your eyes,

my love will get you home.

if your troubles break your stride,

my love will get you home.

if you ever find yourself,

lost and all alone,

get back on your feet and think of me,

my love will get you home boy,

my love will get you home.

if you ever feeel ashamed,

my love will get you home.

if theres only you to blame,

my love will get you home.

if you ever find yourself,

lost and all alone,

get back on your feet and think of me,

my love will get you home boy,

my love will get you home.

if you ever find yourself,

lost and alone,

get back on your feet and think of me,

my love will get you home boy,

my love will get you home.

let's follow our hearts,

and find our way back home

2009-10-11T12:38:00.003+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAREST LIYI <3

happy birthday liyi (:

thank you for being such a dearest friend. dearest bff. dearest vice captain. dearest monitress. (:

i'm glad we still have something in common. psl nynb <3

happy birthday(:

hope that you will have a superb day ahead.

and stop studying okay ):

i cant believe someone is studying on their birthday.

it's not even my birthday and im slacking (:

she've been a perfect friend.

perfect bff.

perfect monitress.

perfect vice captain <3

thank you for being the brightest smile in our team. the nicest smile in 205. <3

thank you for being who you really are.

happy birthday liyi (:

2009-10-10T21:15:00.005+08:00

cmon twofive i know we will pull through this somehow.

for eoys, for ourselves.

for zzc lets jiayou for chinese.

for mr chow lets jiayou for LA.

for mrs siew lets jiayou for chem.

for mrs wong lets jiayou for physics.

for ms lye lets jiayou for bio.

for mr mac lets jiayou for history

for mr tan lets jiayou for geography

for ms teng lets jiayou for math.

chooch and yixian put this on their blog already!

when yixian smsed zzc: you know you made 1/4 of 205 cry.

then zzc replied: cry for what :-l me also not dead.

LOL. 'me' . heh. toothead. (ps. i realise i keep using the word toothead o.o)

it at least cheered me up a little when i was feeling super emo yesterday.

i cried until my vision became 1/4 of normal okay.

my eyes were super duper small like .. eyes of a pig -.-

pig's eyes are really small!

hais ): i guess i have run out of tears to cry over 205 and everything else alr.

yixian and chooch blog keep making me cry and cry over and over again.

i feel like i'm a crybaby ):

ahhhhh (:

i guess 205 impacts me the most. 205 205 205 205.i cant imagine life w/o this class ): perhaps im thinking too much. perhaps im worrying too much. but im so going to flunk my exams. whenever i think of 205 205 205 and nice nice teachers ): twofive! like what i told yixian, leave the tears for the last. now lets enjoy happy moments! yeap yeap :D smile smile people! lets stop being sad and enjoy time while it lasts.

two five two five.

let the legacy remain

2009-10-09T22:15:00.002+08:00

ZZC (:

i totally 100% agree with chooch.

i guess he found it kinda awkward yesterday.

perhaps it came shocking to zzc that we told him we loved him.

we loved him as a class.

and he just didnt realise it till yesterday.

perhaps we only realised it when it was near to the time to part.

zzc will always stay in the deepest part of our hearts,

and have footsteps in 205'09 's legacy.

no matter what the outcome may be,

or whether he will be any of our chinese teacher next year.

we've got to carry on. move on.

but i really wish i can do that easily.

im seriously dying of heartbreak.

zzc has been wonderful.

really wonderful.

i guess i will really miss his cute self.

his toot smile.

his sunshine smile.

his patience.

his understanding.

and yes chooch,

i bet we love zzc more than 208 ):

i dont know how this love came about,

but still, we love zzc alot right twofive. ):

the teachers caused us super alot of heartbreak.

mr. chow too.

i wish we treasured them right from the beginning.

like the time going backwards,

i'd treasure them. the whole class will.

we'll definitely miss zzc's smile.

we'll definitely miss zzc lessons.

we'll definitely miss zzc heartwarming greeting.

we'll definitely miss zzc lame jokes.

we'll definitely miss zzc himself.

chooch can you stop making me cry

yixian can you stop making me cry

liyi can you stop making me cry

wiewie can you stop making me cry

pangpang can you stop making me cry

jamie can you stop making me cry

all of us are dying of heartbreak, zzc.

you just didnt realise it.

and i bet,

you'll never come to know of it either.

zzc is causing us heartbreak.

till shatters of pieces of hearts become impossible to pick.

and he leaves us with none of our hearts intact.

2009-10-09T21:29:00.004+08:00

ZZC, 二零五爱你 ♥

thank you zzc, for being such a wonderful teacher.

thank you for always being there for us, more of a friend than a teacher.

thank you for being the awesomest teacher.

thank you for having so much patience with us and hardly getting angry.

thank you for being so understanding towards us.

thank you for always entertaining us with all your stories and jokes.

thank you for always never failing to bring a smile to our faces with your lessons.

thank you for being so super duper cute.

thank you for your lame jokes and brightest sunshine smile.

thank you for always greeting us with the hyper-est voice.

thank you for everything you have done for us.

thank you zzc.

thursday was the last time we were ever going to see zzc step into twofive classroom.

when we said 谢谢张老师，张老师再见，二零五爱你 .

i really wanted to cry.

i didnt say the part of 二零五爱你 .

because i was on the verge of crying.

i cannot imagine that zzc wont be teaching us anymore.

i cannot imagine having another teacher as my chinese teacher for sec 3.

i cannot imagine not seeing zzc wonderful smile and lame jokes.

zzc is really gone.

we will never hear him say 二五早安，二五再见 with his super cute look and bright smile.

we didnt know how to treasure him till now.

and i truly regret it.

for not enjoying time with him and twofive when i could.

for slacking and chatting away during his lessons.

some people even made fabulous zzc angry when he has this super duper high patience with us.

some people took advantage of him and always hand in work late.

zzc ): sorry we've been such a terrible class.

but even so, two five really loves you, from the bottom of our heart.

zzc is really the most awesomest teacher anybody could have in the whole wide world.

twofive wont give him up in exchange for a million dollars.

he's really cute. and lame.

and i will really miss those lessons with him, that he always makes us laugh every single lesson, without fail.

he tolerates us with his high patience, even though we sound like a fish market,

or even when we hand in our work like 2 weeks late.

he never ever scolds us.

he's just like a friend, more than a teacher.

zzc has always been super caring.

zzc has always been super patient.

zzc has always been super nice.

zzc has always been super cute.

zzc has always been super funny.

zzc has always been our super duper bright sunshine.

zzc, thank you for being such a wonderful teacher,

for putting up a bright smile on our faces everyday just by seeing your bright smile.

zzc, thank you for being twofive's brightest sunshine for these 2 years.

we didnt know how to treasure you till the very last minute.

zzc, twofive loves you, and we'll miss you.

we really will.

we will never forget you.

we will always remember how good and fantastic and perfect you were.

we used to take him for granted.

his bright smile, lame jokes, cute self.

and yet when it's time to regret,

its too late.

we didnt know how to treasure you,

till its time for goodbye.

when we had such a great beginning last year with you as our chinese teacher,

we ended this with a fantastic boom,

with the last time you're ever going to teach us,

with the last time we're ever going to say 谢谢 and 再见

we ended this, with a perfect ending, with a perfect boom.

'' 二零五爱你 ♥ ''

zzc, perhaps you never knew,

but you're making us die of heartbreak

zzc, perhaps you wont ever know,

you made many cry.

2009-10-09T16:31:00.003+08:00

谢谢张老师

张老师再见

二零五爱你！

Thank you Mr. Chow,

twoohfive loves you (:

i guess the only regret is that we didnt say it to ms teng and the other teachers bah . ):

okay we said it to mr. kelvin tan and he wanted to hear it again. damn gay -.-

i cant imagine parting lah please.

today already want to cry already

i bet i will cry till i flood the room on drama fest.

i'm so gonna miss them

2009-10-09T12:13:00.002+08:00

yesterday was zhang lao shi's last lesson with us.
today's mr. chow last lesson with us.

aw we are all going to die of heartbreak.
i'm so going to miss them ):

we didn't know how to treasure them,
till the very last moment

2009-10-08T18:19:00.003+08:00

the last dance was today.

yet such a great memory.

the last dance,

the perfect ending

最后的舞蹈，

完美的结局

next up is drama fest.

let's end this with the perfect ending.

we started with a perfect one.

we must end with a perfect one.

let the drama fest be a boom.

the best, perfect final ending ;

2009-10-08T17:07:00.002+08:00

All of us jolly well know that we're so going to miss 205. we're so going to miss zhanglaoshi. we're so going to miss ms teng. we're so going to miss all the wonderful teachers we have. ah. today's zhanglaoshi's last lesson. i cant deny it but i just had the feeling of wanting to cry. i guess i would feel 10 times worse on drama fest. the day when all of us were going to part.

i sure am going to miss these wonderful people.

i'll miss them. i really will ..

the legacy will go on.

and all we're going to leave behind,

are our footsteps in history.

and those memories cries laughter with one another.

2009-10-07T09:55:00.001+08:00

hm i feel i suck.
big time.
there's always this feeling in me that i want to get back my old life, to become the old lingting all of you all knew, but yet idk why. i feel as though im not in control of my life. i feel as though i cant be the old lingting yall know already.

i dont know what's happening to me.
the world's spinning around me.

but yet im still glad, to have friends like yall.

heartbreaks when i walked away from yall, when its time to let it go.

ARGH SNAP OUT OF IT DAMN IT.

world revolution;

2009-10-06T21:52:00.006+08:00

when we end this journey somehow, we will not feel sad we will all be glad because crying aint going to help anything. we will be glad for we have spent 2 years together. we will be glad because we have got memories inside us that nobody else will ever share with us. we will be glad because we are 105 batch 08 and 205 batch 09. we are irreplaceable. and i believe that goes for everyone.

deep down in our hearts we may feel like crying these two years have seemed to pass on so quickly, that we havent even got time to realise how much this class mean to us, how much each and every single person takes a space in our hearts, how much we want this class to stay forever and ever yet this is not possible.

its heartbreak. how i wish all these words can be somehow comforting to one another, or even to myelf. i cannot imagine going to a whole new class, a totally new environment and possibly, not knowing anyone at all. well, how bad can things possibly get then.

but theres one thing in this whole world i will never ever doubt, the bond and love for twofive. it has not been easy coming about like this, obstacles after obstacles. sometimes we even break down and cry in class for so many problems and stress have been piling up on us every single day. but yet we must remember it is not only us it is the entire class that is going through the same thing. and if they can stay strong so can we. come on two five. this is our last year together we have got to treasure this before it is all too late.

因为有你们，我才会感觉到高兴，

虽然有时候吵得像市场的阿姨，

但是我们之间的点点滴滴已经累积到一座山，

心里的一座山

谢谢你们

因为有你们，生活才变得那么奇妙，

那么开心

come on two five. lets treasure this. everything we have, because its all we have got left for now. we started with a great beginning. now lets end it with a boom. jiayou for eoys. lets end our journey with a fantastic boom during drama fest. come on two five. lets do this just one last time in our entire life. working hard as a class and this will forever and ever stay in our hearts. as two oh five oh nine.

美丽的开始，

完美的结局

2009-10-06T20:05:00.004+08:00

aw pink pink pink. im going to get blinded by pink with our dear pink yixian wearing her pink pink jacket every single pink morning. ._. LOL :/ this is pinkkkk. im damn high now.

maybe because thanks to yuemin and xinhui i have learnt how to let things go. and strive harder for them instead of just sitting back and giving up on myself. thats perhaps what i didnt learn for the past few weeks.

sorry for making you guys worry. and dont worry the old lingting will be back she definitely will. the chorlor violent smiley hyper lingting. thank you yuemin. thank you xinhui. thank you nynb. thank you to everyone that cared(: thanks a lot. it really meant a lot even if it is just a little effort you made. a little effort can make a big difference.

the old lingting is going to be back. the slack slack lingting. i dont feel like studying. studying makes my life horrible. it makes everyone's life horrible i wanna sleep and snore like a pig. snore like xinhui. aw ): lets hold hands and wish we will all pass eoys with flying colours. if it really happens, what a miracle.

thank you for leaving me with bits and pieces of my hearts,

because you made me strong again.
because i finally learnt how to let go ,
and stand up again.

for those who care.

2009-10-05T20:59:00.001+08:00

i'm nobody.

im freaking stressed.

im losing everything.

what a loner,

yes i agree.

2009-10-05T19:27:00.002+08:00

when everything crashes down on you, you feel that you're going to die and everything's lost.

what i used to have, is all gone.

yet while all of yall are so happy at times, i really wish i can be as happy as yall.

but yet i couldnt bring myself to smile. or even laugh.

doesnt anybody feel that my smiles and laughter are so fake nowadays?

i smile and laugh to not make you all worry. but i guess you all wont know that bah.

i feel that i've got nothing left.

liyi always used to say: enjoy it while it lasts.

i've got nothing to enjoy now.

nothing.

a painful regret, pitiful tears

2009-10-05T11:34:00.002+08:00

我答应过自己不会再为他们而哭。
却发现自己在不断的哭，
他们越安慰，我的心就越痛，
原来，我的眼泪是懦弱的眼泪。

i promised i wont cry over them again.
but yet, moodswings are just like unpredictable.
thats why they are called moodswings i guess.

when life turns away from you ,
it's death.

so near yet so far

2009-10-04T21:08:00.003+08:00

when its time to part, you feel horrible.

yet when you're with them, you dont treasure it.

then what on earth will you do,

to not leave these precious people with any regrets ?

life is a mystery.

not even albert einstein will be able to figure it out.

i cant say goodbye.

i musn't say goodbye.

i wont say goodbye.

i hope those tears wont roll,

哭泣，并不代表懦弱。

因为在乎，才会哭，

你懂吗？

2009-10-03T00:32:00.002+08:00

when its time to part,

we'll try to part with a last smile and laughter,

with crying faces.

we'll treasure this.

we should be happy.

for we've got such wonderful classmates,

and 2 full years of wonderful memories.

<3>

we are loved

2009-10-02T23:16:00.001+08:00

when the world come crashing down on you,

if you dont have the might to hold it up anymore,

you'll give way.

like how everything gives way on me.

and the sky crashes onto you,

leaving you among the so called debris.

while your cries for help cannot be heard,

because only your world fell.

the beautiful world out there couldn't hear you,

because it is a different world.

how i wish my life was colourful ;

how i wish my life was perhaps something different.

i want a roller coaster life ;

2009-10-01T21:26:00.001+08:00

it gave way.

it made my dream give way.

my heart gave way.

disastrous love

2009-10-01T15:59:00.003+08:00

when people actually think those small things doesnt matter, it does. and these are the small little things that touched my heart.

thank you, for all those little bits of hugs, smiles, laughter, cries, encouragement and motivation. though training may be tough, yall got the hang on in there. and wait for me to get back on court. no matter what, i am.

i aint gonna admit defeat

当你一无所有时，

心里很空虚，

但这些人却给了我，

满满的开心和欢笑，

撑住！

2009-09-30T20:20:00.002+08:00

i always told myself to stay strong. staying strong is tough. its tiring. if life was a miracle, everyday will be full of unexpected stuff, to make us smile, from the obstacles we thought that we would die, we came back alive. if life was an obstacle, we will be trained to be stronger people, and only the stronger ones will have the right to stay in this world (i'd probably die immediately). if life was full of studies, i'll just jump off the building and commit suicide. if life was full of games, i'd become mrs. prime minister.

let me ask you. what is life was full of injuries and objections? my answer used to be, go against it and stand strong. yep that was my answer. but yet, i'm shaking, uncertain unlike last time. i'm shaking like those trees tricia saw in the heavy rain, as though they were about to fall and collapse. and no matter how many people hugs this tree, it's going to collapse on them one day, for its roots are loose and its heart is at the bottom of the pit.

i'm shaking. like a vibrator. i'm doubting myself. my own abilities. for everything. from studying to gaming to netball to slacking . every single thing, i'm uncertain. somehow i feel i'm changing from day to day, i dont know whether i'm becoming more hateful/less cute/more fierce/more chorlor or simple more weak. all i want to say is that i've had enough. but these just seemed to never ever come out of my mouth, because i cant bear to. i've had enough of everything, but yet there's this feeling so close to my heart i dont want to give it up. never. ever.

liyi has avril to hold her shaking hand. who will save me when i'm falling off a building? this feeling becomes just so indescribable. before death, i can enjoy the nice breeze wind of air. perhaps i'd choose somewhere with more storeys. so that fun and enjoyment will last, perhaps just a little longer. these people are so precious to me, just like little gemstones that i found from outerspace. they may be worth 10 million each, but even if you offer me a 100 million, i wont sell them away. yes i know the feeling and bond between the team will never change, no matter what. yes i know that in my mind, i know i will never be distanced from yall, because all of us love one another. but yet in my heart, i feel as though im no longer as close to yall as in the past, when i could always stay back and play and study with yall. when i'd be the one pestering each and every one to stay back and play! but yet nowadays, when all of them gather outside my class, and i'd be the one to say bye and walk away from them, i just feel 'so close yet so far' . i want to be the one with them, not walking away from them. and avril will always ask: huh you not staying back? my answer will always be 'no'. my heart is just dropping. its dropping everyday. i'll die one day of heart failure. i swear.

my love for yall is killing me, i'm having a heart attack

2009-09-29T17:04:00.004+08:00

未来的世界会不会有你，

不会再想回到过去。

答应过我的那个秘密，

却给了我那么大的包袱。

心里的那个位子，

原本属于你的。

但你却默默离开，

抛下了我的心，

觉悟到原来始终是空虚的。

when you are tired, you're no longer motivated. when you're no longer motivated, you are no longer passionate. when you're no longer passionate, your heart dies out. when your heart dies out, you die. keep the flame alive. as long as it stays in the deepest part of your heart, it stays alive. i wont be beaten down by others. i'll stand strong. cmon lingting cmon cmon cmon.

请你带走空虚，

把脑海充满回忆

请你带走伤痛，

让快乐走进来

把你，用力的推出去

2009-09-28T22:23:00.001+08:00

i cried today. how pathetic is that. how weak can i get. hais. eoys are coming and im totally not prepared at all ): pimples are popping out cos i'm too stressed. oops! lol :D

i've got to learn to be strong. i've been saying this for ages, but yet not learnt how to. perhaps i'm just too stupid to learn how to.

i've got to learn to be strong. for myself, for my teammates, for those who were there

cmon girl

2009-09-24T19:58:00.002+08:00

i guess i forgot about these few lines in my passion speech: my teammates are really great. they are the ones that shaped me today, and also the ones that gave me the determination and motivation to strive on. because we love one another, we never ever want to be separated. somebody once told me: best friends are sisters that destiny forgot to give. if thats the case, my teammates are the best sisters in this whole wide world. and i just want to say four very simple, yet very meaningful words. i love you guys. i really do.

because of them, they force a smile onto my face every single morning. and for them, i'll continue smiling. if its not for them, this world will not be as beautiful as it is now. i guess, my passion is not only nanyang netball, but also my beloved teammates, who will always stand by one another, no matter what happens, or whether the sky comes crashing down. i love my teammates.

they are the best sisters. best bfs! :D

2009-09-24T10:01:00.000+08:00

LOL :D eh martin dont gaaayyyyyyyyy~ my post only 2 lines only what can you possibly expect you toot head :D LOL. and im in school and im freaking bored:D just went to a bitch blog, damn cool. she HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA all the way ?! like wtf. -.- !

heh :D

2009-09-22T20:10:00.000+08:00

MARTIN IS STUPIDLY STUPID :D but i didnt know it either. heh :x okay tmr got training. im just going to sit there and stone and try to 'absorb' whatever i can D: okay. -.- need to do homework. the worst part of the day. i hate physio ):

2009-09-21T11:05:00.004+08:00

i promise i will smile. i'll look forward to that rainbow after the rain, even if i cant walk towards the rainbow with yall right now, i'll look forward to it. to that rainbow which shines so brightly, which can bright up anyone's life :D thank you so much god, for giving me such a wonderful team, such fantastic friends that never have given up on me. :D

replies to tags:

Yirui: thank you uncle yirui -.-

spammer: o.o who are you haah :D anyway, thanks!

Luping: thanks luping :D had been a fantastic birthday. good luck for your eoys too!

Cheryl Tan: thanks for coming to my party (: had been a fantastic and wonderful day with yall!

2009-09-19T22:49:00.003+08:00

everything came so harsh till its tough to stay alive. its tough to keep that wound from bleeding, no matter how much you bandage it. its tough to smile even though you know tomorrow's going to be a great day. it hurts to watch you all. im glad i have a team behind me. everybody is just going to go: jiayou lingting. the words i always hear, are yet always, the words i fear so much. the sky just crashed, i crashed along with it, beneath the debris. i feel pain, yet the debris landed on me, letting me feel nothing at all. emptiness.

when time has come, i'll accept it. that's what i always said. but how long am i going to take. those words were so hurting. expression so amazing. you make me breathless and speechless for words. i added into my speech: as long as it stays in the deepest part of your heart, it stays alive.

yet it is now sinking to faraway land. that passion aint going to fade. i wont allow it to. i will be strong, for those who matter. now just for one last time i ever want to tell myself, jiayou lingting. and i hope from now onwards, i wont ever have to say/hear this ever again. these frightening words which used to hold much meaning, now have become something that meant bad luck.

im going to hold on in there. and save myself from the faraway land i used to be in. to get back in this world of reality. when you love, you want them to have the best. and the best, is not giving them presents, money or anything else. the best, is just letting them see you smile. because you smile can bright up their world. no matter how difficult things are going to be, i will press on.

may not be as tiring physically as training, but yet wearing out mentally from everything. thank you to those who never gave up on me. to those that have given up on me long time ago, i know and i will understand. i wont blame you. i just want to enjoy time with people who care, whom i love.

when the sky crashed, it was painless.

2009-09-19T14:55:00.001+08:00

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH IM POSTING VIA MICROSOFT WORD HOW COOL IS THAT.

2009-09-19T14:03:00.000+08:00

:D smile smile ; im bored ): i dont feel like studying hohoho.

im a slacker boo D:

k i want buy clothes.

im broke D:

ah save me xinhui HEH ._.

kay randomess ):

2009-09-12T15:12:00.000+08:00

yay yesterday was a fun day i went out with xinhui :D i saw michelle on the mrt and she said she couldnt recognise me. oh my -.- . aiyo really got so much difference when i tie up my hair and i let down my hair meh. tian ah michelle :/ blur pok lah you ._. then me and xinhui went to buy hairbands. :D i bought hot pink she bought polka dot. LOL. :/retro leh xinhui :D and we ate .. long johns silver. sheesh im feeling im getting fat D:< neo xinhui should seriously stop enticing me to eat fast food. fast food = stamina drop ._. gawd. hm, and we took a few zilian pic :D and we went to woodlands. -.- and went to see jiaen sing. LOL. the whole time the music was boom boom boom! and xinhui was like looking at me with those innocent eyes. -.- our eardrums wanted to burst le. >< but still, some of the songs are quite nice. but jiaen's mike had a technical problem thats why couldnt hear her voice D: that's quite sad actually. but still, trust that she had put in her best shot, like she always does. and to make things worse even though both of us were very worn out already, the boom boom sound still ringing in our ears, we took the long trip back to woodlands interchange. stupid lah we D: think that any bus could bring us back to woodlands interchange. hais -.- and the stupid bus kept jerking so i couldnt take picture. bleh! reached home at around 11 and my parents were sort of hopping mad, but still, whatever. LOL :D cant blame me what. i rushed the entire day ystd can. i left house late, then i rushed to the bus stop and missed 157. and when i reached geeling's bus stop, she havent come so i alighted the bus and waited for the next bus with her, but it was the music bus, the hot pink one with cushions, which is damn cool :D thats like the only nice thing why i miss buses! then after training i rushed back cos training ended late and i was supposed to meet xinhui, i rushed home, rush to bathe, rush to dry my hair, and rushed out again. and rushed to the mrt station, and rushed to choa chu kang. then after eating we rushed to woodlands cos we were going to be late (but in the end it was damn early cos there was only one stop to republic poly from woodlands interchange and i didnt know that.) then after the destiny finals thing ended, i rushed to the opposite bus stop, rushed to woodlands interchange (even though we took the wrong bus), rushed to the mrt, and rushed back home. the whole day i was rushing like shit and i was damn worn out at the end of the day. dammit D: sianxzxz. tomorrow's there's carnival :D hope nanyang will win. even though i cant play, i'll be cheering yall on :D cheerios for nanyang :D jiayou nanyang netball. we can do it. we definitely will. :D

rainbow ;

2009-09-10T13:29:00.003+08:00

i guess i just have to get used to it. perhaps accepting the truth will just make me a feel better. sometimes i really care even though i say i dont. sometimes it bothers me, but i just didnt say it. things shouldnt be taken for granted. i strived so hard to achieve something, yet now left with nothing.

piercing pain

2009-09-10T10:11:00.003+08:00

blgger is seriously screwing up. what the hell.

2009-09-09T22:39:00.002+08:00

CHAOTA SUNBURNT ALREADY!
D: didnt train today. felt super bad and lousy and whatever blabla feeling you can possibly think of. have to mug for exams. so i'll mia from blog D: okay maybe not really. MIA-ing for today. there's nothing to post anw. except that i met peckyee at outram park mrt to get stuff and pass luping's elmo to her haha :D kay it was a happy and a sad day D:

boo.

i'll be there for you

2009-09-08T21:56:00.001+08:00

officially declares that my knees and ankles are freaking screwed up. i went to raffles hospital yesterday to see the sports doctor and he said: rest for 2-3 months minimum from training. no training no pe no dance. sheesh im going to become so freaking fat till i'll spoil the weighing machine! and my stamina and skills will be so lagging behind. and my parents .. hais, yet another problem, as though i dont have enough problems to settle right now D: will be able to strong enough to fight this mental and physical battle with my parents? will i have the determination to do well when i finally have the chance to get back on court. i'm really one that has too many injuries, too many to be counted. sometimes, i dont know whether i should thank these injuries, sometimes these injuries let me rest and take a breather, sometimes they hurt so much till i really want to give up. but yet, im still glad i managed to path my way till today. it's a short journey, but im happy that i've reached till this part of it. when i get back on court, if i have the chance to, after 2-5 months, i'll really treat it as my last and really treasure it. because hearing my condition from the sports doctor really made me realise how scared am i to lose my knees or dislocate my knees, because i need my knees to continue playing netball. yes netball can be very tiring, esp under ms lin's training, but we have to go through all these to become fantastic players like the sec 4 batch this year. but the problem is, will i even have the chance to treasure this last chance? i didnt treasure it in the past, because i thought i still had the long way to go, and still i get take baby steps. but now no longer, i cant even take ant steps, because i cant go for training. i really dread the feeling of having to sit at one side and watch and cheer for them, being their moral support. yes i know its best for my condition, but i've had that feeling too many times, so many till i really dread that feeling, not wanting to ever have to do it ever again. i know im not a fairly good player among my team, lagging behind in terms of stamina and skills. but if i really get the chance after i rest, i just want to put in my best. ms angie yeo once told me, to take care of myself, because if i dont have those injuries, then i'll be able to improve much faster and then i'll be able to become any kind of good player i want. i just want one more chance, and i'll really treasure it. but yet, my parents are just forbiding me, holding me back from what i really love. perhaps i have just asked for too many chances in too many aspects, the question is: will god give me one more chance?

i miss the feeling on court
all striving for the same goal

2009-09-06T20:13:00.000+08:00

hm .. im going to raffles hospital for checkup by sports doc on monday D: I hope that it is just some minor problem and just going for physio will allow me to train very very soon D: i really dont want to stop for too long, i've already missed 5 training, the sixth on monday. but yes, alot of people tell me that it doesnt matter, because this is not what i want anyway, as in its not what i want to have injuries and sickness and illnesses and stuff. and all i can do is just be strong. i shant really think too much about tomorrow just yet, ruining the next few hours of the night. i shall worry about it tomorrow i guess. last time i went to the sports doctor when there was only a little knee pain, he said that it was just perhaps the muscles that is too tight and tensed, that caused the pain. but it is become more and more frequent, that it is just easy to rule out the possibility that it is just caused by muscles, i run like at least 2-3 times a week, which means that i stretch frequently and my muscles shouldnt be tensed anymore. i just pray hard its not something serious. kay enough of unhappy stuff!

hm, when i came online to msn, then have the hotmail pop up box mah. 69 mail :D caused by cheryl choo, chua ying yi, tasha wie and fennie wong! i was like wth =_= . cheryl choo tagged me in tagged pictures like : the foxy, the gangster, the pot head?! lol. sounds funny and i've got no idea how am i them D: but fennie is super correct can: the sickness person/the person who always gets injured. LOL. :D I KNEW IT I KNEW IT. people always tag me with injuries/illnesses D: heartbreak luh. liyi and shuyi are out of town. which means there's no one to spam me/no one to sms except for tricia HAHAH :D aw D: I want to go to the concert for charity tomorrow, but my mum doesnt allow -.- cos im going for jiaen's one on friday with pig :D as usual, she always say orh, suibian. LOL. she's like the suibian machine. :D i think if i ask her, eh give me 50 bucks, she'll reply with: orh, suibian. i shall try that experiment next time :D should be quite fun & interesting, and i can imagine her laughing non-stop HAHAHAHAH :D as usual ~ next week are school holidays, which are supposed to be breaks for students. which is like totally so wrong? we've got to study for the physics exam that is right after the breaks, and then have to study for EOYs -.- this is so ridiculous ): i dont want to have holidays, except for the fact that we're able to wake up late! because i feel very guilty at the end of the day when i did not study when i'm supposed to! D: AH. then i'll like guilty until want to die, and promise myself i'll study tomorrow, and end up guilty the next evening. sheesh i suck D: i've got no motivation to study for my EOYs, perhaps i wont start now D: but i think i'll end up ling shi bao fuo jiao again. i only had the motivation to study for the first block test this year, which i didnt know how i managed to motivate myself to. but second block test, the motivation and determination disappeared D: i guess it'll happen too, for my EOYs. i dont want my results to drop because i want to go on holiday and enjoy the cooling weather in other countries, and escape from this harsh place, called Singapore, where the merlion and the durian lives.

breathless ;

2009-09-03T19:26:00.001+08:00

when one day i have to give it all up, i promise i'll do it, without crying. because memories are the best thing of life. i dont want to regret it when i grow up later, that's why i treasure it now. it's all going to be very different for me. but i promise and i swear, it'll be the best thing ever in my life, having this experience with all of you. it's all enough. at least, it's enough for me now based on my situation. i cant do anything else but just to hope for best, hope that everything will turn out fine and i'll be able to join back in trainings and matches and games. yes, it's going to be hard if i just stay and watch throughout all the trainings, looking at how all of you progress, becoming more and more zai, getting stronger and stronger, and more bonded as a team. whether or not i'll take part in it, i'm still very grateful for all the memories given to me, that i'll remember till the day i die. i'm saying this now even though i dont know the results, because i suddenly have this urge to say all these to yall. thank you. thank you for everything yall have given me, tears smiles laughter, and most importantly, friendship and a shoulder to cry on when i need one, a hand to pull me up when i fall. this dream, so near yet so far. let's all pray that it'll be good news, and liyi pray hard i wont ever call you. (:

hm there's ptm tomorrow haha. and my dad's car had to be sent for repair cos he got involved in an accident so currently, i've got no car. how pathetic is that D: and then i've got to take bus to school early in the morning tomorrow, which i probably guess i wont be able to wake up though, cos i've been waking up at like 6 for the past 4-5 months and then now suddenly want me to wake up at 5.15 again, i dont know whether i'll be able to wake up. hm, i just hope i wont be temperamental and have attitude towards my parents when i wake up ahhh D: GAH . i shall seriously sleep early today ;D tomorrow's going to be a long day. i'm going to miss training cos i've got ptm duty, and i'll also be missing beep test. oh, i dont know whether i should be glad about missing beep test. not glad cos i have to miss training again, glad because i havent been exericsing because of all those problems. yes i know all these are just excuses, but seriously, trust me, there's nothing i can do about it when my parents forbid me to do so. :D trust me. hm, ptm duty is going to end at like 630 and then i have to end up waiting for my parents until 730. how great it is D: i hope that liyi they all will have finished training then perhaps we can play. D: ugh, my knees were hurting like crazy even just from walking from the bus stop back home, which is like .. hm ,quite far, but my knee hurts. like wth. it was just normal walking oh please D: i've got a bad premonition that things wont be fine. but just let me live in this world of delusion for just a few days before i wake up to reality, before i perhaps, have to accept the harsh fact that no one will ever want to face. just let me be of no worries for these few days. smile when i can.

i hope for a miracle,
perhaps a rainbow with ten colours

replies to tags:
celeste: haha k thanks. :D

peiqi: HAHAH you love me awww :D thats very sweet peiqi <3 haha. no lor., you love me more than liyi can. cos im nicer :D smile smile.

2009-09-02T22:43:00.000+08:00

what if one dayi really need to give all these up, will I really start to regret this decision I made, for the love and the passion. yes I know I'm sounding very emo again and you, yes you are feeling very irritated with this stupid ugly irritating noisy person here, but it's who I am. xinhui told me that me in school is totally different from the mood I use while I blog posts and stuff (: that's called putting on a brave front, something really tough to do, but something I've become so familiar with because it is already in my life, because I am already so
experienced with it (: yes life can be tough, but as long as your dream keeps you going, along with family and friends who really care for you and love you so much that they could do anything for you (: I'm glad I have them. my parents may be the obstacles to my passion, but yet no matter how much they don't agree with me joining netball, they never failed to encourage me when we've lost a game, and also never failed to praise me when we won. I know fully that they want me to quit, but still, they sort of respect my decision at times, but though they can still be very demanding and ridiculous at times. I'm really afraid to hear the news from the sports doctor when I go see him on Monday, good news or bad news, it still keeps my heart from beating. liyi told me that she could not imagine nynb without me, that's very sweet (: ugh I'm suffering from imsonia, knee pain, ankle pain, backache and headache. i finally realise how old I am even before celebrating
my 14th birthday! hais ): problematic kid.

heartstrings held me tight.
next time when I look back on my past,
I really wish to see no regrets
have you heard that god?
no regrets no regrets no regrets!

2009-09-02T15:02:00.000+08:00

going for spine checkup soon. hm .. monday i think im going for physio. hope i'll be able to continue playing what i really love :D there's carnival on friday but i dont think i'll be able to play, and i'll definitely not be in the team for the sunday carnival! so i'll just go there on sunday and help them to jiayou jiayou and cheer them on.

smile smile.
laughs laughs.
i wish i could do it as freely as before.

bottomless pit.

replies to tag:
cheryl mortal: haha thanks yeap! you owe me letter D:

yirui: haha. i emo person mah cannot ah :D like this got harm your eye mehh. D: laugh laugh.